The decision has been made...

I've decided not to run the Dallas RnR half marathon this month. It was a tough decision. I wanted to run, but I have to think about things beyond this one race. I had an injury that cost me lots of miles and endurance. Once better I only had 3 weeks to get race ready. There is just no way I can SAFELY prepare for and run 13.1 miles. I'm sad not to run. I had so much fun last time, but I don't think this would be enjoyable in any way. I don't have to run this race. I've come to terms with it, and I'm not going to feel bad about my decision. So, there.


Seriously? Not this again!

I just need to take a moment and share some frustration, but first, a little back story...

Once upon a time, less than a year ago, I started running. Then I got inspired to run a half marathon. I completed it, and did it faster than I thought I could! The training was tough, but I made it through and accomplished a huge goal. Also, I fell back in love with running! I love that I call myself a runner.  I love to read about running.  I love to shop for running gear. Most of all, I love to go running!

My training didn't go smoothly 100% of the time. At around the 4th week (8 weeks until the race) into the training I ended up with an injury. I had bursitis in my right hip. It really slowed me down, and I could only tolerate about a mile of pain with every step before I had to stop. For 3 weeks I only ran a mile a day. By the 4th week of that I went to the doctor and got a cortisone shot in my hip. After 24 hours all was great again! I could run pain free! But, I lost a little of the endurance I'd built up. I had to start slow again. I was able to catch back up on my mileage, though. I think the week before the race I could say that I felt completely healed. I finally could walk without a limp and sleep on that side comfortably again! Amazing, right?

So, that brings me to my frustration today. Over the last couple of weeks Running and I have not had the best relationship. Every step has been painful. Every breath has been tough. I think some of it is mental. There are some things that are causing stress that I just don't have any control over, and we've travels a lot lately. It's been tough to keep  up a normal schedule. I have missed a few weekday runs. The biggest problem right now, though, is that I think I have bursitis in my left hip. I'm not happy at all. Now I have to dial down the mileage and see if I can heal. I am supposed to run another race in March, but now I don't see that happening. I'm pretty sad. I could run/walk it, but I would just be disappointed in myself.

I know I need to do some cross training to strengthen other muscles, but I don't have access to a gym membership where I could do that. (I know that's probably not a good enough excuse, but it's what I'm going with.)

So, now I'm just sad. I used to love running and I want to again. Today I am supposed to run 7 miles, but I'm only going to run 2 or 3. So sad.



I just want to say that I love it when something happens, and the only explanation is that that it was an answer to prayer. I also love it when that answer to prayer happens in the same day! Just putting that out there...


I Can't Believe I Just Did That!

In May when I started running again I never dreamed that in 6 months time I would complete a half marathon! Back then I could barely run a half mile. This weekend I ran 13.1, and had fun doing it! I'm so glad I got talked into signing up for this race. It gave me a goal to train toward.

It has been a long road to get to the point where I could run 13.1 miles, all at once! There were times in my training when I thought it was all over and I wouldn't get to run. My family experienced a lot of ups and downs in the last 6 months. We've moved, experienced loss, had some birthdays, started kindergarten and a new preschool, and most recently experienced some stressors related to our income source. The worst setback for me happened right in the middle of my training. I ended up with bursitis in my hip and almost had to stop training all together. I was devastated! I gave up on the pain and went to the doctor. He gave me a cortisone injection into the site on my hip, and I was able to get back into my training! I'd missed 3 weeks of quality training, but I was able to get right back into it. I had to cut back on my mileage, though. I really was so worried that since I had lost so much training time that it would really effect my ability to finish strong.

This last Sunday was finally Race Day! I can't believe it came so fast! We stayed in downtown San Antonio, close to everything, and had a great time! We arrived on Friday since Collin had his race on Saturday, so we hit the expo as a family. Once we got Collin's race packet we walked around, but the expo was a little overwhelming for the family. After Collin's race on Saturday morning I went back to the expo with Barrett. I think I spent entirely too much time on my feet Friday and Saturday, but the expo was just too much fun.

Sunday morning we (Kelly, Jessica, their friends, and I) made it toward the start line! You know that feeling that you have when you've been in line for a roller coaster and you're moving closer and closer to the ride? That "what have I got myself into" feeling? As we moved closer and closer to the start I felt just like that! The atmosphere was great and really helped ease my fears. We were there to have fun running together, and I didn't need to worry about anything. I'm so glad Jessica was there to help us figure out how to prepare and get us to the start. I would have been totally overwhelmed without her. Once we started running the fun began! I can't believe how fun and comfortable the whole race was. Of course I was running and pushing myself to run a distance I hadn't accomplished before, and I was working hard. I've just never had that much fun running! Before we started I warned our group that I probably wouldn't be talking to anyone, but I talked and laughed throughout most of the race. I stopped once to drink/egel, and once to tie my shoe, but other than that I made it through without even wanting to stop! Around mile 10 I became much less pleasant. I had e-geled and there wasn't water right away and the crowds started to get to me. I was tired of having to go around walkers in the middle of the road, and I was generally tired of so many people being on my running route! I did every single training run alone(expect a 2 miler with Barrett while I was injured), so this was a brutal introduction to group running. It seemed that the closer we got to the end, the more crowded it became. At mile 11 I stopped being nice and just bumped into people. At mile 12 I started running by people and yelling that I was coming up on their side. I'd had enough of this crowd and I was ready to be out of it! At one point between mile 11 & 12 I passed some girl who was cheerily telling a spectator that she hadn't had to stop once. She was too peppy and lucky I didn't punch her in the face! Not really, I just was done with the crowd, and every little thing became super annoying. Especially the ridiculous hill at the end of the course!

After 2 hours, 22 minutes, and 8 seconds I finished! I still can't believe I accomplished that! I'm so excited that I did. I feel like I'm walking a little taller now. I can really call myself a runner now! I'm ready to sign up for the next race. I can't imagine not training for something. I'll have to wait a little while, but my plan is to train like I'm running Dallas in March, so that if I can run it I'll be ready. I'm definitely addicted to running races and doing with people!

I'm planning to do a recovery run today, and I'm so excited to get back out there!


The Latest

I just realized that it has been since May that I've posted anything. I guess I've just been relying on facebook to get out all the updates. So, here's our life since May:

     In May I started running again. It's been about 10 years since I've done any regular running, so it's been lots and lots of hard work, but I'm very slowly progressing. I have ups and downs. My father and "coach" was so kind to remind me when I first started out this time that I'm not 15 or 16 anymore and it won't be as easy as it was then. Thanks Dad. It hasn't been easy at all. I've run an average of 4 days/week since May and I'm up to a long run of 4 miles. Now that I've officially started the training program for the half marathon I'll be running in November, I'll be upping my mileage much more rapidly. Every time I have a bad run I remind myself that in May, when I started out, I barely made it a half mile before having to give up and walk. Progress. My goal in November is to finish the half marathon before the course time limit is up. I'd like to say that my goal is 2 hours, 30 minutes, but some days I feel like that's a little ambitious. I'd like to reach the finish line without having to walk. I think my biggest challenge is training alone. I love the alone time, and I love the time to be out in God's creation and marvel at it's beauty. I love pushing myself to do more than I thought I was capable. I'm also coming to terms with being my own runner and not letting myself feel bad because I didn't run 10 miles at an 8:45 min pace (Barrett). For me, running is an individual sport and my biggest competition is myself.

     Bailey turned 2 in June, and we had a princess party for her at the church. She kept arguing with us about her age, saying she wasn't 2, she's still one. For a while she finally agreed that she really was 2, but now she insists that she's 4.

      At the end of June we moved into our new house. It's such a blessing to be in such a great location and in a neighborhood. We live in the country, just 2 miles north of "town", but it sort of feels like a mini-suburb. Haha! I suburb of Nacogdoches! I crack myself up! Anyway...we are loving Nac! We hope our new home allows for more dinner guests, play groups, and just all around fun for our family. The backyard came equipped with a play set for the kids and plenty of landscaping for me to maintain! I've spent lots of time out in the hot sun pulling weeds and trimming bushes. There's still so much more to do, but I think for now we'll just clear out and plan to redo things a bit in the spring. Our street is great! We are on a cul-de-sac with lots and lots of kids and even our pediatrician. Collin is so excited to have a street that is safe for bike riding. That was his only concern when we started looking for houses. Our garage is still half full of boxes, but slowly we're getting them emptied.

    In early July we took a little mini-vacation to Houston and hit the Museum of Natural History and Downtown Aquarium for 2 days. Collin loved the dinosaurs and the butterfly museum. He wasn't too impressed with the aquarium. Bailey liked the butterfly museum most because she could walk around and touch stuff. We enjoyed the family time with just the 4 of us, away from home.

     At the end of July Spencer's mom came for an extended visit, and she just left last week. It was nice to have an extra set of hands around the house! She was able to do her sewing, my housework, and get lots of time with the grandkids. It's been a little bit of an adjustment getting used to doing all the house work or running errands with kids!

     Spencer is still hanging out at Fredonia Hill ministering to children and families. It's been a busy summer for his kiddos. They've had Girls camp, VBS, Preteen camp, and Boys camp, along with several other activities. I got to go to Preteen camp and had a great time. This summer we planned for the Wednesday night activity to be Wet and Wild Wednesdays (W3) and it got rained out all but 3 times! We didn't realize there was so much rain on Wednesday at 5pm in the summer around here! Our church called a new pastor in July, and we're so excited. God is working in our midst and we feel so honored to be a part of what He is doing in this community!

     Collin started Kindergarten last Wednesday, and he loves it! Today on the way home he told me how to spell "red". Before school started he wasn't sure he could handle kindergarten. He was convinced that he needed to go to the 5 year old pre-K class. He does have a late birthday, and school has been debated heavily in our house, but we came to the conclusion that this year he would go to Kindergarten so that he could stay engaged and out of trouble. If he went back to pre-k I'm sure he would have spent lots of time in trouble because he learned his letters, numbers, and colors last year. For the record, he may repeat Kindergarten next year, but that decision won't be made until the time comes. We had his 5th birthday party at our new house with a pirate theme. He had a great time and we were so happy that so much of our family was able to be here, and so many of our new Nac friends! He's already started talking about what he's going to do when he's 6.

     Bailey was pretty disappointed that Collin was going to school and she wasn't. When we talked about school with Collin she would tell us she wanted to go to school, too. Then the week before school started one of our friends moved her son out of one preschool into a different one. It just so happened that the school she took him out of was the school I wanted to put Bailey in! When she called to tell them he wasn't returning, she asked them to give Bailey his spot! We're so thankful! So Bailey gets to go to school! She goes Monday, Wednesday, Friday from 8:30 to 1:00. She loves it, and was silent for only one day. When I picked her up the first day they said she didn't talk much, but on the second day they said she talked A LOT! On days she's in school I get to run in the morning, before the temps hit 90 degrees, and I'm free to run errands and get things done outside the home.

     I'm afraid we've entered the stage in our life where things just don't slow down! We're looking forward to a busy fall, too!



Adventures in Mommyhood

Motherhood is an adventure for me, one that on most days brings a range of emotions. There are several times I feel frustrated. Sometimes at my kids and sometimes at myself. Sometimes we're bored. Sometimes we're excited. Lately, though, I just want to laugh! Motherhood brings me so much joy!

I've had a few experiences in the last couple of weeks that just make me laugh. While they were happening, I wasn't laughing, but when I think back, laughing seems like the only appropriate response! 

Last week I had an experience at Kroger that some of you may have already heard about, but I'm going to share it again (now that I'm far removed from the situation). Collin and Bailey were sharing the "car" cart, as they must do when I shop with both of them. Sometimes they have a great time in there together, but this was not one of those days. I get through my shopping as quickly as I could, and had even bribed Collin with lunchables in turn for good behavior, including not being too loud (don't act like you don't bribe your children, I know you do). This is a very small store and Collin's voice carries! Eventually we got to the check out line (with our lunchables) and Bailey decided she'd had enough closeness with her brother. She started biting and hitting him. (side note: Collin abuses Bailey as much as he can, and she can take it pretty well, but only for so long, and eventually all of her pent up anger comes out in the form of biting, hitting, scratching, poking, or some other form of physical retaliation. When the time comes, she's pretty good at defending herself.) Anyway...we started checking out and the sweet lady scanning my groceries had to take care of a price discrepancy. Sometimes I don't care about the price difference, but lately my family of four with a single income (that wants to buy a house) causes me to care. Once everything was taken care of and I started to pay, the checker one row over decided she needed to intervene. She started loudly participating in Collin & Bailey's little spat. I had already been on the ground and talked to them about their behavior (reminding Bailey that we love Brother and treat him with kindness, and reminding Collin that yelling is not the appropriate response when Sister is treating him like that). This lady proceeded to shout "uh uh, she's hitting him, she's poking him, he's yelling" as if I was completely unaware of their behavior! She stopped doing her job and her line was getting longer. I'm not sure who was louder, she or Collin! I whisked my horrible, misbehaving children out of the store and got them separated and into their own car seats as quickly as I could manage. Collin noticed I was a little flustered and frustrated and didn't understand why that lady was yelling about him and his sister, so after explaining it to him, he said "No mom, she doesn't tell you how to take care of your kids, God does that!" As we drove out of the parking lot several thoughts passed through my mind. First I realized just how wise Collin is and how fast he seems to be growing up these days. Then it occurred to me that he really does hear the things I say! Wow! I'm really not talking to a brick wall! 

Today I had another experience that wasn't quite as dramatic, but still made me laugh! Bailey and I took a grocery shopping trip to Wal-Mart (since I need some time away from Kroger after that last incident). I've started this new thing where I don't bring a diaper bag if I'm going somewhere that I know I'm not going to change a diaper. If she poops while we're grocery shopping, I'd rather not risk picking up some nasty GI virus from the changing station in the wal-mart bathroom. I'll just finish my shopping as  quickly as possible, as far as possible from other people. I just had my purse, because I don't like to carry stuff I don't need. Bailey is a great shopping buddy. She likes to talk about things we see and we have great learning opportunities while we're shopping. Today she saw me crossing off items on my list with my pen, so she decided she needed to draw, too. I found another pen in my purse (because I don't have anymore crayons-we've used them all) and a business card (because I needed my list and that was the next largest piece of paper I had in my purse). Now, let me back up...Bailey loves wearing her boots and skirts, but she decided when she was in the cart that she didn't want to deal with her boots falling off, so she just took them and her socks off. Ok, back to where we were...Bailey was having fun crossing things off her list, but she ran out of list items (I guess) while I had my back turned to pick out some shaving cream or something like that. When I turned back around she had moved on to her feet. She was drawing on her feet with a pen. Both of them. I quickly took the pen and told her we don't write on our bodies (so she looked in her shirt for her "bodies"). I just couldn't get upset. All I could do was laugh!

There are times I get stares from well-meaning (I hope) strangers, but I just can't let it get to me. Kids act like kids and we shouldn't be surprised when that happens! My kids are awesome! I love them both so much. There are times when I feel like I'm failing my kids by not spending enough focused time with them or by not teaching them enough or by not keeping their environment perfectly clean and safe. But they're still alive and still without major injuries or illnesses and they are learning at an appropriate pace. They are such unique individuals that bring me so much joy! I love being a mom! 


It's official...

I'm running again! It's only been about 10 years since I ran on a regular basis. It's time to lose weight. I tried P90X, and it was great. The only problem is that our current house has a pier and beam foundation, so it's super loud when I jump, jog, etc. Plus, the guy that does the DVDs is pretty annoying after a few times. Maybe one day I'll do it again, but for now, it's not for me.

So, now I go running in the morning while Collin's at school, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays Bailey is at mother's day out. I have to push the jogging stroller 3 days/week, but I just look at that as more exercise for me. That's good right?

I've only been running a few days, so I'm not sure I really should be telling people that I'm running again. I guess if I put it out there in blog land, then I'll have to keep it up. I really do love running. For a long time I've wanted to get back into it, but there have been so many reasons not to. Before Bailey came along I actually had planned to do a race. I've got a looooooooonnngg way to go before I can make a race a goal, but I do have a goal. I am going to run consistently. Yep, that's a pretty weak goal, but I'm in pretty bad shape! Everyone has to start somewhere, right?

I've been inspired by my cousins Jessica and Kelly (and if I could figure out how to insert a link to their blogs, I would, but I can't and I'm just getting frustrated trying to do that)! Thanks you guys for helping kick me into gear!

I'm not doing anything fancy. I'm just running. No Nike+ this time. No fancy clothes. No fancy shoes. Just me and my ipod shuffle.

We'll see how it goes! Wish me luck!